The following is from an update I emailed to a large group of friends and supporters (whose addresses I inadvertantly made availabe to all recipients, but let's just blame that on cancer while I still can).
The scan came back clear! The doctor and radiologist confirmed that there was no evidence of thyroid cancer. I don't need a follow up treatment of highly radioactive iodine. I don't need any surgeries. Everything is as clean as can be.
What now? Now I give my body time to reach normal thyroid levels. This takes quite a bit of time and can be difficult to dose. They say you can start feeling better in a couple weeks, but everyone is different. My current level is far below what was necessary for my scan, so I have that much extra to make up for. Last time it took me at least 2 months before I was feeling anywhere near normal. Even then the effects of being hypothyroid went beyond simple numbers on a chart. How do you measure daily activity rates, comprehension, personal discipline, dependability, etc. - all things that suffer when you're near shut down? Thankfully, Deb's covered for me well, so most people are unaware of my current uselessness. "Oh, you're not . . . " Yes, I am.
If you want to pray specifically, pray that I'll be patient and kind as I return to strength. For whatever reason, I'm prone to irritability and not really tolerant of the ridiculousness of holiday shoppers and the like. My sarcasm filter is currently set to "off." In the midst of it all I'm learning a lesson that I've expected of others; namely, circumstances are not waivers from responsibility. Difficult pressures do not excuse me from spirit-controlled living nor do they entitle me to special treatment from others. "Having said that," pray that my life will be one of patient graciousness and authentic kindness.
I expect this to be the last of my messages to you all on this topic (Feel free to forward or reply). I can not thank you enough for your prayer support. God is faithful in all things and just in all His ways. He never chooses between His glory and my good since the two are inseparably linked. It was for His glory and my good that thyroid cancer came into my life. It was for His glory and my family's good as well. - Psalm 119:75 I know, O LORD, that thy judgments are right, and that thou in faithfulness hast afflicted me.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Release notes on "My First Love"
The accelerated transitions of modern society have not negated Northland’s “life-touching-life” ministry. We desire to touch your life with the eternally settled Word of God through inspirational messages in song.
My First Love
“For my name’s sake hast [thou] labored . . . Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee . . . Thou hast left thy first love.” Revelation 2:3–4.
We welcome you to Northland Recordings with the complimentary release of “My First Love,” an outstanding original composition by Northland student Joanna Hall. This song was developed and recorded by Northland students, faculty, and staff. Download your copy today for free - http://www.northlandstore.org/mp3-my-first-love.html
Friday, December 5, 2008
Health update
The following is from an email update I sent many who have prayed for me or know me.
I figured I'd better write this while I still have some sense of cogency - quickly waning.
Over the past 9 mo or so I realized how much thyroid deprivation had cost me while I was down. Have you ever wondered if non-thinking people know it - that they're not really that good at thinking? Having experienced playing times on both teams I can tell you that I was very unaware of my own absurdity. Which team am I on now? I think I'm sitting at the table ready to go into the game. Maybe I'm on the bench? Either way, I'm thinking well enough to assess that my thinking and problem solving skills are compromised (i.e. 15 minutes to install 3 AA batteries in my daughter's birthday present). I began my current decline November 1 and will continue in preparation for my scan mid-December.
This time I know NOT to tell you that all is fine and OK. I'm costing Deb a lot as I become less capable and less dependable. "Can't" and "Forgot" are becoming more frequent with me. Deb complements with "have too" and "just in case." I was unaware of how much I left her hanging during my simple, blissful ignorance last year. I don't want to short circuit the good intentions of others toward my family this time.
Calendar
December 8 - blood work. This is worthy of prayer since I've had at least two occasions where the lab and the doc had communication problems resulting in delays and guesstimations.
December 12 - drive to GB to take a pill. I'm not complaining about this one anymore. I want them to get it right. I recognize negative correlations between the number of middle men and my personal confidence in the process.
December 15 - Full body scan to confirm that no cancer remains.
December 17 - If cancer remains I'll get another big blast of radioactive iodine to ablate remaining cells.
December 23 - Follow-up scan if December 15 identifies remaining cancer.
Currently - freezing cold, slow moving, slow thinking, low iodine diet, constantly fatigued (No, not like you. It's different.).
No doubt in God's grace. We all have our uncertainties with current circumstances, but how much is eternally significant or relevant? Our circumstances are our boundaries and materials for a creative life of worship.
To my new students and friends, last year was a year of challenges, transitions, and adjustments. God leads more by directions than by destinations (How many of you will drive toward and even through Chicago in a little over a week with no intention of spending significant time there?). That to say, don't believe that God's current directing in your life indicates a poor direction in your past. He just doesn't lead "as the bird flies." I'm excited about a future of watching you grow and learn the same lesson in God's way and timing.
I thank you all for your prayer, support, and understanding.
I figured I'd better write this while I still have some sense of cogency - quickly waning.
Over the past 9 mo or so I realized how much thyroid deprivation had cost me while I was down. Have you ever wondered if non-thinking people know it - that they're not really that good at thinking? Having experienced playing times on both teams I can tell you that I was very unaware of my own absurdity. Which team am I on now? I think I'm sitting at the table ready to go into the game. Maybe I'm on the bench? Either way, I'm thinking well enough to assess that my thinking and problem solving skills are compromised (i.e. 15 minutes to install 3 AA batteries in my daughter's birthday present). I began my current decline November 1 and will continue in preparation for my scan mid-December.
This time I know NOT to tell you that all is fine and OK. I'm costing Deb a lot as I become less capable and less dependable. "Can't" and "Forgot" are becoming more frequent with me. Deb complements with "have too" and "just in case." I was unaware of how much I left her hanging during my simple, blissful ignorance last year. I don't want to short circuit the good intentions of others toward my family this time.
Calendar
December 8 - blood work. This is worthy of prayer since I've had at least two occasions where the lab and the doc had communication problems resulting in delays and guesstimations.
December 12 - drive to GB to take a pill. I'm not complaining about this one anymore. I want them to get it right. I recognize negative correlations between the number of middle men and my personal confidence in the process.
December 15 - Full body scan to confirm that no cancer remains.
December 17 - If cancer remains I'll get another big blast of radioactive iodine to ablate remaining cells.
December 23 - Follow-up scan if December 15 identifies remaining cancer.
Currently - freezing cold, slow moving, slow thinking, low iodine diet, constantly fatigued (No, not like you. It's different.).
No doubt in God's grace. We all have our uncertainties with current circumstances, but how much is eternally significant or relevant? Our circumstances are our boundaries and materials for a creative life of worship.
To my new students and friends, last year was a year of challenges, transitions, and adjustments. God leads more by directions than by destinations (How many of you will drive toward and even through Chicago in a little over a week with no intention of spending significant time there?). That to say, don't believe that God's current directing in your life indicates a poor direction in your past. He just doesn't lead "as the bird flies." I'm excited about a future of watching you grow and learn the same lesson in God's way and timing.
I thank you all for your prayer, support, and understanding.
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