Getting to know you

Some of you may have read this already through another venue of technological marvel, but I thought I’d post it just the same.

What is it that you have to offer that is most valuable? I don’t mean to ask you what you are able to transport or reflect or channel. I’m asking what is sourced in you that is of greatest value? You may conflict with this answer in avoidance of pride, but I believe the answer is “you.” The most supremely valuable thing you have to offer is yourself. John 15:13 says that the greatest display of love is the sacrificing of self. God Himself demonstrated that in dying for me. He gave Himself. What He wants from me is simple. He wants me. He values me. That’s not the main point I want to make here. If it were I would need to address depravity, but I believe my audience is intelligent enough to get the idea I’m presenting in order to have a launching point for THE main point.

Our perception of ourselves is most likely skewed, but even the purest of hearts must see that God has instilled value in His image-bearing creation. Although He is no respecter of persons, He has made us all individuals. We recognize our individuality. Still not the main point, but building there.

Here it comes. Main point. In recognition of our individual, unique, God-granted value, it takes most of us a great deal of time to risk the exposure of ourselves to others. We test the waters, build bridges, converse about a thousand trivial things – any number of means to lessen the risk of being found worthless, misperceived, confusing, undesirable, etc. It’s not wanting to be liked as much as wanting to be understood. Sometimes love motivates us too since we all want to be known by those we love. God displays this beautifully in His revelation of Himself through His Word and His creation.

I’ve had the privilege of knowing a lot of people who are going through the stages of growing into themselves. Sometimes knowing starts with video games, or talking extendedly about trivial things, or just doing stuff with someone. From my personal perspective I’ve noticed that everyone has his own way of saying, “This guy is aware of me, he’s listening beyond my words, he’s not going to jump to conclusions, he’s earned my trust by the way he’s handled the other stuff I’ve told him. I’m comfortable sharing more, but not just so I can talk about myself. I could really use some help since making sense of my life is like putting together a puzzle in a tornado. I believe this guy can help me and is able to do so.” (If you feel like I betrayed your trust by what I just said, know that I could say those words about many others. You’re still unique, but you’re still human.)

You’d think this would be a natural thing between some people, but it is not. Parents to kids, spouse to spouse, discipling partners, long term friends, etc. Just because openness occurs once doesn’t mean it’s going to be there again without reestablishing the relationship or testing the compatibility. It takes patience. The process can’t be rushed without raising defenses, losing ground, or stirring up frustration. One hint of anger, attack, or insincerity can initiate shutdown and limit the involvement to surface or cerebral matters.

Are you aware of what you do to establish connection with someone before sharing what’s really important to you or about you? Consider sharing your connection-builder with someone who loves you already, especially if they have trouble understanding you. You will extend a bridge that will make those that love you more available to you and understanding of you. In time you may be able to share the beauty of your uniqueness that God custom-crafted when He made you. Try it!

What do you do before you reveal “you”?

Psalm 139:13-18